I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
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