I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
