can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I accidentally burped into my bong.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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