i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
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He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
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I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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