question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Randomize
