Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Randomize
