By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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