Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
birth control should be required to get into college
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
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