Me. At least after what I've been through.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
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