I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize