i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
