i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
