She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
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