Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Randomize
