Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
