His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
