Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
