Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize