Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
