porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I wish i was in the wii world.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
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