Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Randomize
