PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
