apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
i now understand why vodka
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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