Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP ππππ
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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