My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Randomize
