I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
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