ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Come on in and take your pants off
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