is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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