you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
He told me they were just razor bumps!
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
