Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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