Soap is not a condiment
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
