she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
