I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
