Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
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