That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
