oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
that may or may not have been my penis.
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