I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
