i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Randomize
