fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
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