Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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