yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
