Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
