After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
