I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Randomize
