That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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