I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
