Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Randomize
