im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Randomize
