I got her a Nickelback box set.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
