he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
