I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
