1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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