Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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