in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
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