She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
