Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Randomize
